Saturday, November 28, 2009

Hmpf! Nice Guys?

Ok, I’ve talked about the natural side of relationships = pheromones. Moving forward, I have heard the phrase: Nice guys finish last”. Why is that? Is it possible to discover an aspect or answer that unravels the relationship issue of why men and women are attracted to each other? What I want comment on is the “nice guy” issue. I would be proud to say that I think I am a nice guy, but as I recognize what this means according to some, is there any truth to it? A Nice guy?


I have found strange information on this. Initially I came across this site that explains how nice guys are losers. The author of the site states that nice guys are generally insecure and have no backbone. The picture that they paint of a nice guy is that of a welcome mat that gets walked on all the time by women. In another sense, the author alludes to nice guys believing that women want jerks as their choices. But overall, is this an accurate definition?!


Personally
I thought women wanted a guy that is strong in his convictions, spontaneous, random, open-minded, loving/respectful, and is a great communicator/listener.

Another site that I came across offers help like a clinic for so called “Nice Guys”. Is this stuff real? What do you think?

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4 comments:

  1. SteveNovember 28, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Hey Reshard, this is Steve Wolf. So I'm actually very familiar with this notion. Despite having no luck myself, I reject the "nice guy" hypothesis, the one that states that women want jerks. Most of these "nice guys" are basically people who can't deal with their own problems, and shift the blame of their romantic failures to an external source. An example of how Nice Guys have codified their views into a (not so) scientific theory is Ladder Theory, which you can read up on here: http://www.laddertheory.com

    I'm personally appalled by the view, but you can make your own judgments. Interesting blog you got here btw!

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  2. SteveNovember 28, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    Also, I took a look at that Nice Guys website and that seems to follow the RIGHT approach (i.e., the Nice Guy's problem is not external, but internal).

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  3. AnonymousNovember 30, 2009 at 10:45 AM

    I think a nice guy would be someone that is consider of others, that could think outside of himself and acts with a positive attitude. I also think a nice guy keeps his commitments wether is a phone call or a subscription to a magazine.

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  4. UnknownDecember 3, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    Personally for me, nice guys are the best. But the general population of women want a man that presents a challenge. Don't ask me why, but they do. It is a concern to me because guys who are nice see this and get discouraged and perhaps pretend to be something they are not. That presents problems should the guy be in a realtionship under false pretenses

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